Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

Good ol' bittorent hasn't failed me yet!
Perhaps downloading the biggest hyped up game film ever, 2 days before it's actual release date raised my expectations. I mean.. it's Final Fantasy VII!
What could go wrong?

Sadly, Square didn't learn from it's mistake from Final Fantasy: Spirits Within. Although the big budgeted movie had all the ticks in the right boxes, the lackluster reviews and revenues almost made the mighty Square bankcrupt.
So a few years later, here we are with Square's latest offal - I mean offering. ;)

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children



Firstly, I'll state the only good point - yes the CG is very good. Infact in some places it was almost lifelike, probably due to the fact they used motion capture. Backgrounds are excellent and detailed, expressions are done well enough, but I feel in some places Sqaure rushed this out and it's a little rough around the edges.
So while the Computer Graphics are stunning, they are not revolutionary.
Now onto the story!

The OVA 'film' starts off well enough, showcasing the highlights from the Final Fantasy VII game and highly glossing over the events that happened, 2 years beforehand. Then us the viewers, are treated to a Midgar we barely recognize - with slummy children bearing an unknown disease. Infact, we don't know the origins of this so called 'Geostigma' apart from that the world caused it. The Ghibli-effects are in place!
Oh and three lunatic 'clones' of Sephiroth (or so what I gathered) are looking for mother Jenova for a loving 'Reunion' and then proceed to attack motorbike d00d Cloud, with 1337 big swords.
Thus begins the mundane 'action'.

Square was obviously trying to cash-in on the latest 'coolness' of Devil May Cry style action but fails miserably. While the fights are stylised and action-packed, they are also confusing to follow. Suddenly Cloud unleashed his BIG two swords from his motorbike (We see a repeat of this at least 3 times to make sure we know) and gun-fu's his way into a battle ala Dragon Ball Z. They fly through the air, crash through buildings and make the earth shatter in two and without any blood spilled! Fantasy it sure is!



Annoyances!
The little orphans was duely aggrovating, especially Marlene and her little friend. Strangely the style is remicent of the 'ugly' Vahn from FFXII and those particular orphans reminded me of reject versions of Aeris and Tidus (FFX) respectively!
The enemies are nothing to brag about either.. looks like the styles and personality was ripped off a shounen jump mag to appeal to the fanboys. There is no depth whatsoever to their characters. They suddenly appear and want to fight. Wow!
Then I was hoping the music would be better, of course it wasn't!
Fans of the game may recognize pieces of the game music 'cleverly' inserted into this 'epic'. But no, they had to ruin that as well! Instead of the lovely melodic tunes left untouched - we get terrible rock infused 'cool' versions to listen to! I felt like switching the background music off!
It was that bad!
However, the voice acting was the usual anime-fare so no complaints there!

Did I mention the story? Considering it has only 600 lines of text for 1 hour and 30 mins, it is lacking in that deparment as well. There is no background to any of the random and forgettable orphans that Cloud and Co protect. Instead we get more motorbikes, sword fighting, and a yawnfest.
Makes 'The Island' seem like a deep film in itself! But that's another story. ;)



Overall, another BIG disappointment.. and that's not Cloud's 'sword' either!

Pros
+ Computer Graphics are simply the eye candy.
+ Tifa's fight
+ I can't think of anything else

Cons
- Poor plot
- Very cliched
- Action scenes are OTT and overdone with the 'Gun-Fu'
- The music!
- Trying to be cool, it isn't :x
- Save the children!
- zZZzzZzZZz

Overall Rating: 3/10

Let's all hope Square sticks to gaming from now on!

Oh and here's a little picture of Tifa, the only worthwhile character in the entire OVA/film! :D